V.O. Complete. Techniques to improve communication and well-being. David JP Phillips.

Techniques to Improve Communication and Well-being: Insights from David JP Phillips

Communication is a central theme in life, and it goes far beyond PowerPoint presentations. Stories shape our reality and influence how we perceive the world, especially in fields like sales and marketing, where they plant ideas in people's minds. David JP Phillips, after studying 5,000 speakers over seven years, identified 110 essential communication skills, though most people only use 25. Body language, such as affirmative nods and head tilts, plays a crucial role in connecting with others, while facial expressions are deteriorating due to the overuse of mobile phones.

Mentality also affects communication. A positive mindset can enhance presentations, while stress and fear can undermine confidence. Phillips himself experienced 17 years of depression before rediscovering happiness, emphasizing the importance of self-leadership in overcoming personal challenges. Hormones like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin are key to our well-being, influencing everything from our mood to our ability to connect with others. Dopamine, in particular, is central to storytelling, as it keeps people engaged by creating a sense of anticipation.

The talk also highlights the dangers of chronic stress, which is linked to modern life pressures and can lead to anxiety and depression. Techniques like "stress mapping" can help identify and reduce stressors, while practices like meditation and appreciating nature can boost happiness. Ultimately, the decision to be happy is a personal one, and mastering self-leadership is crucial for navigating the complexities of modern life.

The key is self-leadership. Master it. It saved me.

The Journey of Communication Mastery: From PowerPoint to Body Language

David JP Phillips introduces himself as a speaker, coach, and writer, with 25 years of experience in communication. However, it wasn’t until 12 years ago that he felt a surge of energy that pushed him to create his first TED talk. This talk, titled "How to Avoid Death by PowerPoint," was born out of a frustrating experience at his son’s school. During a parent-teacher meeting, the teacher presented a PowerPoint filled with text, using a laser pointer, and spoke in a monotonous tone for 27 minutes. Phillips describes the experience as "horrible," and it motivated him to spend three months creating his TED talk. The talk now has over 5.2 million views and is used in prestigious universities like Yale, Harvard, and Oxford to teach professors how to improve their PowerPoint presentations.

Despite the success of his first TED talk, Phillips soon realized that PowerPoint was not the solution to all communication problems. He developed a deep interest in storytelling and discovered that stories shape the narrative of our lives. The stories we believe in, whether they are true or not, define our future. This realization led him to create his second TED talk, "The Magical Science of Storytelling," which has become the most well-known TED talk on storytelling, with over 5.3 million views.

Phillips’ journey didn’t stop there. He became fascinated with body language and how small gestures, like tilting the head or nodding, can significantly impact communication. These gestures show interest and empathy, making people feel more connected. He taught these skills to people who cared about others but didn’t know how to show it. After a few weeks, they reported feeling more connected to others than ever before.

Curious to find more communication skills, Phillips compared himself to Sherlock Holmes, analyzing people’s body language. He decided to spend seven years studying 5,000 speakers to discover all the possible communication skills. After years of research, he found 200 skills, which he reduced to 110 basic skills. This became the foundation for his third TEDx talk, "The 110 Steps to Excellent Communication."

Communication Skills, Mindset, and Rediscovering Happiness

The average person uses only 25 out of 110 communication skills, which explains why misunderstandings and boredom in communication are so common. People often wonder, "Why do I have to repeat myself?" The answer is simple: they are using too few skills. One of the most important skills is facial expression, but only 1 in 20 people have a full range of facial expressions. This means that only a few people can clearly show emotions like nervousness, happiness, or worry. The rest may be misinterpreted, especially in relationships, because their facial expressions are limited.

Unfortunately, studies show that people are getting worse at facial expressions. One reason for this decline is that parents are spending more time looking at their phones instead of their babies' faces. As a result, babies are not learning as many facial expressions as they used to. This trend is not improving; in fact, it's getting worse.

Mindset also plays a crucial role in communication. If you approach a presentation with negative thoughts like, "This is going to go badly," or "I don't want to do this," it will affect your performance. However, if you tell yourself, "I'm excited," and repeat it during the presentation, you will perform better. This even applies to activities like karaoke—just by saying, "I'm excited," you can sing better.

The speaker shares a deeply personal story about his own struggle with depression. For 17 years, he didn't love his wife, his children, or even himself. He thought about ending his life every day and felt that his life had no meaning. One day, he decided to try meditation, practicing for 20 minutes a day over six weeks. Then, while walking with his wife across a bridge in Sweden, he felt something he hadn't felt in years. He stopped, and his wife asked him what was wrong. He tried to explain the emotion, and tears began to fall. His wife looked at him and said, "That sounds like happiness." It was then that he realized he couldn't remember the last time he had felt that way.

After that moment, he became determined to improve his well-being. He focused on optimizing his neurotransmitters—dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. Over the next few weeks, he experienced more moments of happiness. At first, they lasted only 10 minutes, but over time, they grew longer. A year later, he reached a point where the dark moments in his life were balanced with the light ones. This was the best year of his life, better than anything he had ever experienced, even the birth of his children.

During that year, he rediscovered the simple joys of life. He found himself going around smelling things—flowers, insects, stones, grass, and even people. This newfound appreciation for the world around him was a direct result of his journey from depression to happiness.

M, C, H: The Three Pillars of Effective Communication

When thinking about communication, it’s essential to break it down into three perspectives: Mentality, Content, and Communication Skills—M, C, and H. Mastering these three areas will allow you to command attention and exude confidence in almost any situation. You may not capture everyone’s attention, but you’ll certainly get most of it.

Mentality: The Power of Testosterone

Testosterone plays a crucial role in confidence, and it’s not just for men—both men and women can benefit from increasing their testosterone levels before important events. Research shows that people who boost their testosterone before a presentation perform better. Similarly, those who raise their testosterone before a negotiation tend to secure better deals. Even in job interviews, higher testosterone levels increase the chances of landing the position.

So, how can you increase your testosterone before a big moment? One effective method is to listen to aggressive, high-energy music. Put on your headphones and let the music awaken your inner warrior. As you listen, visualize yourself already victorious—imagine that you’ve conquered the interview, the presentation, or the negotiation. This mental preparation will help elevate your testosterone levels.

Another technique is to walk with confidence, even if no one is watching. Before stepping onto the stage or into the room, pace around as if you’re the king of the world. Breathe energetically, and embody the feeling of being a conqueror. This physical and mental preparation will change the way you speak, walk, and even look at others.

Content: Speak to Their Interests

The biggest mistake people make in presentations, conversations, or even dates is talking about what interests them, rather than what interests the other person. If you want to capture someone’s attention, you need to focus on what they want to hear.

For presentations, this means that every slide should answer the question: "Why does this matter to the audience?" If you can’t answer that question for a particular slide, it’s better to discard it. The same principle applies to conversations—if you spend two hours talking about yourself, the relationship won’t last long. There needs to be a balance, with both parties showing interest in each other.

Why is this important? Because when you talk about something that interests the other person, their brain releases dopamine. Dopamine makes people want more—it’s the chemical that keeps us engaged and craving further interaction. If you’re sitting through a boring presentation, it’s likely because the speaker isn’t generating enough dopamine in the audience. The content isn’t relevant or interesting enough. This is what it means to be "instinctively interesting."

Communication Skills: The 110 Elements of Excellence

Finally, there are the communication skills themselves. Two simple but powerful techniques are tilting your head and nodding to show interest and empathy. These small gestures can make a big difference in how you’re perceived by others.

But these are just two of the 110 communication skills that exist. Imagine the periodic table of elements—that’s what the 110 skills of communication excellence look like. Each one plays a role in making you a more effective communicator.

Skill 45: The Power of Hand Gestures

Skill 45 is one of the best out of 110 communication skills. It’s about using your hands when you speak. If you don’t use your hands, you create no connection, no passion, no interest. But when you use your hands to emphasize points, like saying, "This is the first, the second, and the third part," everything comes to life. It’s a skill that Spaniards, and Latinos in general, are naturally good at. They use their hands to say something is better or worse, to list things, and to interact with people. For example, they might say, "We will talk about five things. The first... The second... The third... The fourth... And finally... the fifth." This kind of gesturing brings energy and clarity to communication.

However, gestures can either enhance or detract from communication. They can increase the impact of what you’re saying, but they can also decrease it. For instance, even if your words and facial expressions are positive, if your hands are saying something else, the hands will win. Body language can be more powerful than words. This is why it’s important to be aware of how you use your hands.

Functional gestures are key in communication, but many people don’t use them enough. In presentations, meetings, or even dates, people often fail to make enough functional gestures. Latinos, on the other hand, tend to be better at this. But there’s a downside: they can also overdo it. This is what’s called "centrifuging." It’s when people overuse hand gestures in a way that creates noise and irritation. For example, someone might say, "Then we will go down the street, and when we get there, we will turn right. And when we turn right, we will pass a bus." And they keep going like this, spinning their hands around. This constant movement is irritating and only creates noise. It’s like being a washing machine, constantly spinning and making noise. The question is: are you a washing machine, or do you use your hands to add, subtract, or emphasize value?

To improve your gestures, you need to practice making them slow, clear, and confident. Many people make gestures that are too timid, awkward, or fast. But by using gestures correctly, you will feel more confident. Let’s try an exercise. Start by saying, "January, February, March, April," while making a gesture. At first, your gesture might be too shy, awkward, or fast. So, slow it down. Say, "January, February, March, April," but this time, make the gesture clearer. Now, let’s make it even more confident by gaining space. Start from a wider position and say, "January, February, March, April." People who are confident tend to move slowly. They don’t speed up. When you go slower, you control the narrative.

Think of characters like Wonder Woman or James Bond. They speak and move slowly, showing that they are in control. When you have a presentation, a job interview, or any important moment, move slowly, with broad, clear gestures. This shows that you are here, and you are in control.

Skill 25: Doubt and Overcoming Public Speaking Anxiety

There’s a skill that can change your life: Skill 25, doubt. When people use doubt, they come across as insecure, maybe even unreliable. Doubt shows up most when you’re nervous, worried, scared, stressed, blanking out, thinking, or lying. There are seven negative reasons for doubt and only one positive. The problem is, your audience doesn’t know why you’re doubting. Are you lost? Are you lying? Are you making it up? Removing doubt makes you seem more confident, and people will believe whatever you say. You’ll be in control.

Here’s an example: If you say something without pauses, it sounds like this: "Did you know that all the decisions you’ve made in your life and will make for the rest of your life are based on one thing, emotions?" Now, add pauses: "Did you know that all the decisions you’ve made in your life... and will make for the rest of your life... are based on one thing... emotions?" It’s clearer, right? But when people speak with doubt, it sounds like this: "Did you know that all the decisions you’ve made in your life... and will make for the rest of your life...?" Doubt takes away your power and confidence. So, eliminate doubt. You’re not sheep.

Now, about public speaking anxiety. It’s a serious problem. When you’re nervous during a presentation or have social anxiety when meeting someone, you’re not your best self. The speaker himself is introverted. He doesn’t like being in front of cameras, doesn’t enjoy fame or social media, and would rather be at home with his family in Sweden. But he does it because this topic matters to him, and he knows he can change lives. For a long time, he had social anxiety. He didn’t want to see anyone, but he realized that feeding fear only makes it grow. He kept telling himself, "I don’t want to do it," "I don’t want to go," "I don’t want to meet them," "I don’t want to get on stage." Did that help? No. It only made his fear of people worse and increased his social anxiety.

One day, he asked himself, "What can I learn from this situation? What can I learn from going to that party? What can I learn from meeting them? What can I learn from sitting in front of you and five cameras in another country, being translated into another language?" Learning moves us forward. Fear pulls us back. It always works that way. If you’re afraid of riding a horse, the only way to get over it is to ride a horse. If you’re afraid of spiders, the only way to get over it is to get closer to one, little by little. You can start with a stuffed toy, then a small spider, and so on. Trying to run away from fear only makes it grow. But by facing fear, you reduce it, confronting it and learning from it.

That’s one piece of advice. Here’s another: The speaker uploads videos to TikTok to help people all over the world with these issues. He’s got 200 million views, and one video has 50 million views.

Techniques to Improve Communication and Well-being

The speaker begins by asking the audience to describe their first bicycle, but only by murmuring, not aloud. As they do this, he observes that their eyes move, even though he didn’t ask them to. This leads to an important insight: "Your eyes move to think." Eye movement is directly linked to the thought process.

Building on this, the speaker introduces a simple technique to stop thinking: stop moving your eyes. When feeling anxious or overwhelmed, one can find a fixed point, stare at it, and the mind will calm down. "When you’re anxious, find a fixed point, stare at it, and you’ll stop thinking." Doing this for just one or two minutes can significantly reduce anxiety and bring a sense of calm.

This technique was shared on TikTok, and the response was overwhelming. People from all over the world, including children, teenagers, and adults, commented that it was the first time they had ever experienced their brain stopping. "It’s the first time in my life my brain stopped." Many expressed frustration that they hadn’t learned this simple trick earlier in life.

The speaker reflects on his own experience, sharing that if he had learned to control his thoughts in school, he could have avoided a 17-year depression. "If I had learned to be my own leader in school, I wouldn’t have gone through a 17-year depression." He emphasizes that all suffering begins in the mind, and mastering these techniques can help with issues like social anxiety. "This will help with social anxiety."

Next, a student named Xavi asks about how to make presentations more engaging, as he often finds himself bored in class. The speaker sympathizes, acknowledging that boring presentations are a problem for both students and teachers. "It’s not the purpose of school to bore you." He points out that teachers don’t enjoy it when students fall asleep during their presentations either.

One of the biggest problems, according to the speaker, is PowerPoint. Many people mistakenly believe that a 60-minute class requires a 60-minute PowerPoint presentation, but this is not true. A good presentation should be a mix of different techniques: storytelling, slides, exercises, audience interaction, and more. "A 60-minute PowerPoint is not a presentation."

To help teachers improve their presentations, the speaker recommends his TEDx talk, "How to Avoid Death by PowerPoint." He shares that many students have sent this talk to their teachers, and it has led to positive changes. "Send your teacher my TEDx talk."

Finally, another student, Laura, asks about stress. The speaker explains that while stress can be harmful, small doses of stress can actually be beneficial and even enjoyable. For example, the stress of falling in love or the thrill of skydiving are experiences that people seek out because they enjoy the feeling. "Stress in small doses is perfect."

Stress, Society, and the Angel Cocktail

Stress is a natural part of life, but it wasn’t always meant to be as overwhelming as it is today. Originally, stress was designed to help us escape from predators like bears or saber-toothed tigers. But in modern life, the "bears" have changed. Now, work can be a bear. Your boss can be a bear. Your colleagues, unreachable goals, and visions can all be bears. Some people feel like they are being chased by 10 to 20 bears every day. But our system isn’t built for that. It’s designed to handle one bear a month, not 20 a day. When we experience chronic stress, like the speaker did, it can lead to depression. Chronic cortisol, chronic stress—it’s a recipe for mental health issues.

So why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we push ourselves so hard? One reason is that everyone else is doing it. We look around and see people going to school, getting good grades, buying cars, houses, having kids at 25 or 30, wearing nice clothes, and expensive watches. We think, "If I don’t do the same, I’ll be left out. And I want to be in." This societal pressure makes us push ourselves beyond what’s normal, beyond what’s healthy.

The society we’ve created has its flaws. It’s incredibly difficult to be truly happy in this world. The only way to achieve happiness is to choose it every day. That’s the key. You have to make the decision to be happy, day in and day out.

One technique to help with this is something the speaker calls "stress mapping." When you get home today, write down everything that stresses you out. Everything. It could be something as simple as sleeping with your phone next to you, which we know increases stress. Or having your phone on your desk. Conflicts with friends, conflicts with parents, unreachable goals—write it all down. The first time the speaker did this, they listed 60 things. Then, they started eliminating them. When they eliminated 20%, they could finally breathe again. When they eliminated 50%, it felt like they were floating. And if you manage to eliminate 100%, you’ll be truly happy. Because people who aren’t being chased by 20 bears are happy. Stress is the root cause of so many diseases, anxiety, and depression in our society.

The speaker urges young people to start this process as early as possible. The younger you start, the better. They wish they had known this at 17. You have a great opportunity to be the best at self-leadership. Start stress mapping and begin eliminating. Even if you don’t want to resolve that conflict with your parents, do it. Even if you don’t want to resolve that conflict with your colleague, do it. Because it’s a bear that’s constantly chasing you, and it’s poisoning you. It’s a topic that’s underestimated by society, but it’s crucial.

On the topic of well-being, the speaker also talks about hormones. There are six key hormones: dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins, testosterone, and cortisol. The speaker refers to the positive ones as the "angel cocktail." The more of these "angel cocktails" we experience, the better. How many "angel cocktails" do we enjoy each year? How many days a year do we smile for no reason, just because we’re happy? Some people have 50 days, others 100, some only 5, and others 200. Why is that? Were they born that way? Not necessarily. And the most interesting part: can we increase those days? Of course. Can we have more good days? Yes. And who decides? Who decides how many happy days we’ll have next year? We do.

Techniques to Boost Happiness: Oxytocin, Endorphins, and Serotonin

You are the only one responsible for your happiness. No one else can decide it for you—not your parents, not your friends, not the book you're reading, and not even the speaker. It’s all on you. Now, it’s not about having 365 days of happiness. Bad days are useful; they help you appreciate the good ones. But you should aim for around 300 good days a year.

So, how do you create those good days? Let’s start with oxytocin. When was the last time you had a long, meaningful hug? Oxytocin is released when we hug, and it’s also released when we make eye contact with someone we trust. If there’s no trust, nothing happens. But if there is, oxytocin levels rise. Sharing personal stories, like the speaker’s own experience with depression, also increases oxytocin, helping us connect with others. Oxytocin makes us human; it makes us appreciate life.

There’s a study that illustrates this well. Two groups were asked to walk five kilometers through a forest. One group was given a special instruction: to stop occasionally, look at something, and admire its beauty. They were told to look at a tree, a leaf, or a bird and appreciate its beauty. Both groups took selfies during the walk. Six months later, the group that stopped to admire the beauty was noticeably happier. But the most interesting part was the selfies. The first group’s photos were all about themselves, their faces filling the frame. But the second group, the ones who stopped to appreciate nature, started taking selfies where they were just a small part of the picture, with the tree or the landscape in the background. This shows how simply observing beauty can change your perspective on life and boost your oxytocin levels.

Now, let’s talk about endorphins. You can increase your endorphins by laughing—hysterically, if possible. Laugh for 30 seconds without any reason, and your endorphin levels will rise. It might sound strange, but if you’re at a party and not feeling social, go to the bathroom, close the door, and laugh hysterically for a minute. When you come out, you’ll feel different because endorphins are social; they make you want to be around people.

Think about a time when you were with friends, laughing so hard that tears were streaming down your face. You couldn’t breathe, and maybe you even hid under the table, trying not to suffocate from laughter. Were the jokes getting better or worse? They were probably terrible, but you were laughing anyway because you were flooded with endorphins, which are chemically similar to morphine. That’s why even bad jokes seem hilarious when you’re in that state.

Finally, there’s serotonin, the hormone that regulates mood. You can increase your serotonin levels by getting sunlight, exercising, and eating well. If you take care of these things—getting enough sun, working out, and eating right—you’ll have good serotonin levels, which will improve your mood.

Dopamine Addiction and the Scandinavian Winter

In Scandinavia, particularly Sweden, the long, dark winters have a profound effect on people’s mental health. During these months, there’s barely any sunlight, and in some places, the sun doesn’t rise at all. This lack of sunlight leads to a drop in serotonin levels, which is linked to higher suicide rates during the winter. However, when spring arrives, serotonin levels rise again, and the suicide rates drop. Spring is also the time when people in Sweden tend to fall in love, as the increase in serotonin brings a sense of well-being and connection.

But while serotonin is tied to the natural rhythms of the seasons, dopamine is a different story. Many people are addicted to dopamine, often without even realizing it. It’s easy to get dopamine from simple activities like lying on the couch and watching Netflix. But for many, that’s not enough. They start snacking while watching Netflix, adding another layer of dopamine. Then, they drink a soda, adding yet another level. Still not satisfied, they check TikTok or Instagram while watching Netflix, snacking, and drinking soda. Some might even do all this with a friend, stacking five levels of dopamine at once. This creates a feeling of intense satisfaction, but it’s fleeting.

The problem with this constant dopamine stimulation is that it makes it hard to focus on anything less stimulating. For example, if a 17-year-old goes to class after spending hours immersed in Netflix, TikTok, and snacks, and the teacher starts talking about history, the student’s brain, accustomed to high levels of dopamine, will struggle to engage. The same thing happens to adults. After stacking dopamine sources, they find it difficult to do mundane tasks like cleaning the garage or playing with their children. Their brains, used to constant stimulation, resist anything that doesn’t provide an immediate dopamine hit.

This addiction to dopamine is dangerous because it destroys the ability to engage in meaningful activities. People find it harder to spend quality time with their loved ones, learn new skills, or even finish a book. Instead, they spend hours on their phones, scrolling through social media or watching videos. Over the course of a year, this adds up to thousands of hours. To put it in perspective, it takes about 1,000 hours to learn to play the guitar well. But instead of using that time to learn a new skill, people choose to spend it chasing dopamine.

In today’s world, which is constantly changing and moving faster than ever, this addiction to dopamine is becoming even more dangerous. Technology, especially mobile phones and social media, is turning people into mice running on a wheel, constantly chasing the next hit of dopamine. The challenge is figuring out how to break this cycle and regain control over our attention and our lives.

Techniques to Break Habits and Boost Well-being

One of the most effective tools to break habits is the mobile phone lockbox. This is a physical box where you place your phone, set a timer, and it locks for a set period. You can't open it until the time is up. At first, it might be difficult, but over time, it becomes easier. This forces you to focus on other activities, and it can be especially useful if you have a habit of spending too much time on your phone. For example, if you tend to spend the first hour of your day in bed looking at your phone, you can lock it the night before. Set the lockbox to open only when you need to get up, so you can't use it in the morning.

Another method to control phone usage is to limit access to certain apps. Most phones allow you to set a passcode to restrict app usage. You can ask a friend to set the code for you, so you don't know it. This way, when your time is up, you won't be able to open the app unless you call your friend for the code.

It's important to note that mobile phones themselves are not inherently bad. The issue is not the phone, but the overuse. Mobile phones are great tools, and the speaker himself loves using them. The problem arises when we abuse them.

To improve well-being, the speaker introduces the concept of the "angel cocktail," a daily mix of chemicals that can enhance your mood and overall health. Oxytocin, for example, can be increased by admiring things, caring for others, making eye contact, and hugging. Endorphins are boosted by smiling and laughing more, so watching comedies or stand-up shows can help. Serotonin levels rise when you get sunlight, exercise daily, and eat well. Dopamine is linked to reducing phone use and having dreams that you actively pursue. Testosterone increases when you believe in yourself and celebrate your victories. Finally, cortisol, the stress hormone, can be managed by mapping out your stress.

The goal is to increase the angel cocktail and reduce the "demon cocktail," which is the harmful counterpart. However, the only person who can take the first step toward this change is you.

When it comes to preparing for a date, you have the power to choose which version of yourself you want to present. You can be energetic and fun, or calm and present. If you want to be more energetic, a simple trick is to laugh hysterically for a minute before the date. This will increase your endorphins, making you smile more and appear more fun. On the other hand, if you want to be calm and connected, you can boost your oxytocin levels by watching an emotional video before the date. Videos of people seeing color or hearing for the first time are great examples.

The Power of Presence, Storytelling, and Dopamine

When you’re about to meet someone, especially on a date, the worst thing you can do is sit there glued to your phone, scrolling through TikTok or YouTube. You’ll get hooked on the dopamine rush from your screen, and when your date arrives, the conversation will feel slow and dull in comparison. You’ll start looking around, seeming impatient, like you don’t care. That’s not the version of yourself you want to present. Instead, be attentive, serene, and present. Let your eyes shine with interest. There are many versions of you, and you can choose which one to show. Most people don’t choose—they’re the same everywhere. But when you choose, you can become the best version of yourself for each situation. Maybe that’s what will save the date and get you another one, and another. Over time, you can show your other versions—the one driven by dopamine, or even the sad one. But if you start with the sad version, don’t expect many more dates.

Now, let’s talk about storytelling. You might think you haven’t told many stories today, but you’re wrong. You’ve told thousands. Every time you relive a moment from the past or simulate a future scenario, you’re telling a story. "What happened the last time you saw that person?" or "When I get there, I’ll leave at 9 PM and do this and that." You’re constantly telling stories to understand the present. That’s how your brain works. You don’t communicate with your brain using PowerPoint slides, do you? There’s no PowerPoint projected in your mind. You speak to your mind from a narrative perspective. The whole world is built on stories. Even when you use PowerPoint to communicate with others, they have to translate it into a story in their minds. You’re taking a huge detour. Just tell them a story. Every moment of your life is a story.

But the most important thing in storytelling is dopamine. Dopamine is the key because it makes you think, "Give me more." Think about when you’re watching a Netflix series late at night. It’s 11 PM, and you’re about to finish an episode. What are the chances you’ll say, "Just one more"? That’s dopamine at work. Any series or movie that leaves you wanting more is filled with dopamine.

Let’s do an experiment. I’ll tell you a story in two different ways. The first version has no dopamine: "The man woke up in the morning. He looked to his right, put on his slippers, and walked to the door, which was open. He saw wet footprints on the floor, crossed the hallway, and went out to the balcony. He approached the railing and looked down at the pool. The end." It’s a story, but it doesn’t have dopamine.

Now, let’s add dopamine: "What I didn’t tell you is that this is a true story. It happened to a friend of mine. One morning, he woke up, looked to his right, and saw the bed was empty. Where was his son? His pulse quickened. He put on his slippers and ran to the door. It was open. He had closed it. He stepped into the hallway and screamed inside when he saw the wet footprints leading from the bathroom to the pool. He ran down the hallway like no one has ever run before, screaming inside. He burst out onto the balcony, rushed to the railing, and looked down at the pool... 'And then he called me from the hospital,' he told me." The end.

The Power of Storytelling and the Modern Brain

Storytelling is all about creating dopamine. The secret lies in leaving questions unanswered, generating curiosity that makes people want more. When you hear a story and are left wondering, "Why did his pulse quicken? Who was in the pool? What happened at the hospital?" your brain craves answers. This is the essence of storytelling: creating that feeling of "Give me more." It’s a science, and dopamine is the neurotransmitter that drives it. But it doesn’t stop there. You can refine a story to trigger other neurotransmitters like oxytocin and serotonin, making the experience even richer. That’s the beauty of storytelling—it’s life itself, constantly evolving and adapting.

If there’s one communication skill worth mastering, it’s storytelling. Whether you’re telling a story after dinner, teaching a class, or leading a company, a well-told story can captivate any audience. A good story can silence a room, engage students, or motivate employees. It’s the most effective way to communicate because it mirrors how we see the world.

But while storytelling is a powerful tool, the modern world presents unprecedented challenges for the brain. Never in history has it been so difficult for the human brain to function. Our ancestors had it easy compared to the constant bombardment of stimuli we face today. Five thousand years ago, life was simpler. Ten thousand years ago, even more so. Twenty thousand years ago? A walk in the park. But today, we’re constantly under attack. It’s like being chased by bears all the time. When you go grocery shopping, 70% of the food is unhealthy. Artificial light messes with your circadian rhythms, making it hard to sleep. And when people ignore you on dating apps, it feels like a stab to the heart. The human brain has never had it this tough.

So, don’t beat yourself up if you’re not at your best every day. It’s okay to not be at 100% all the time. But at the same time, it’s your right and your duty to make the most of life. If you learn to control the neurotransmitters in your brain, you can find happiness in this world. Our world is more amazing than ever. We have incredible cars, planes that take us to places our ancestors could only dream of, and access to limitless knowledge. But it’s also harder for the brain than ever before. The key to thriving in this world is self-leadership. Master it, and you’ll learn to navigate the challenges of modern life. It saved me.

Conclusion

El autoliderazgo y técnicas como la fijación visual son esenciales para manejar la sobrecarga de estímulos y mejorar el bienestar. Hablar de lo que interesa al otro genera atención y dopamina, crucial para presentaciones efectivas.