46 Years of Sales Knowledge in 76 Minutes

The Evolution of Sales: From Numbers Game to Emotional Engagement

Salespeople fall into five categories: below average, average, good, best in the office, and best in the industry. The old sales model, known as the IA model, relied on building fake rapport through predictable questions, leading to logical thinking rather than emotional engagement. This approach often resulted in high-pressure sales tactics, with half the conversation focused on features and benefits, culminating in a "buy or die" mentality. The numbers game mentality, where salespeople are encouraged to make more calls and face more rejections, leads to emotional burnout and high attrition rates.

In contrast, the Neuro Emotional Persuasion Questions (NEPQ) model emphasizes emotional decision-making, as behavioral science shows that human decisions are driven primarily by emotion, not logic. The key to successful sales lies in building trust and understanding the prospect's real situation. Without addressing emotional drivers like pain or the fear of future pain, prospects feel no need to change, leading to objections and lost sales.

Trust is built through engagement, with 85% of the sales process focused on understanding the prospect's situation and helping them internalize their problems. People buy from salespeople or companies they trust to deliver the best result, not just because they like them. Emotional engagement is crucial, as prospects are more likely to buy when they feel understood and can see the gap between their current situation and their desired outcome.

People buy from salespeople or companies they trust to get the best results; they do not buy just because they like you.

The Old Model vs. The New Model of Selling (NEPQ)

If you're a salesperson—whether you're struggling, average, good, or even the best in your company—there’s always room to improve. You might be looking to avoid getting fired, or maybe you want to dominate your industry. Regardless of where you stand, the goal is the same: to sell more. And to do that, you need to understand the difference between the old model of selling and the new model, NEPQ (Neuro Emotional Persuasion Questions).

The old model, often referred to as the IA model (Attention, Interest, Desire, Action), is sometimes repackaged as consultative selling. It’s a framework that many salespeople have been taught, but it’s outdated. The first 10% of the conversation in this model is focused on building what’s called "fake rapport." You’ve probably been told to ask questions like, "How’s your day going?" or "How’s the weather?" The problem is, prospects have heard these questions a thousand times before. They know you’re just trying to get them to like you so you can sell them something. As a result, they emotionally shut down and stay at a surface level with you. They don’t open up, and you lose the chance to connect with them on a deeper level.

After the fake rapport stage, the old model moves into surface-level questions. These are logical questions like, "What keeps you awake at night?" or "What are two challenges you’re facing?" While these questions might seem useful, they don’t tap into the emotional side of the brain, which is where decisions are actually made. Human beings don’t buy based on logic; they buy based on emotion. Every decision starts with a feeling—whether it’s the urge to check your phone or the desire to quench your thirst. Logical questions don’t trigger that emotional response.

Once the salesperson gets a surface-level answer, they jump straight into features and benefits. They start selling to the problem the prospect mentioned, but they don’t help the prospect relive their pain or open up emotionally. This leads to a shallow understanding of the prospect’s needs, and the conversation stays at a surface level. The prospect doesn’t feel understood, and the salesperson misses the opportunity to create a deeper emotional connection.

Another issue with the old model is that it often leads prospects to focus on price or cost early in the conversation. When you ask predictable questions and stay at a surface level, the prospect starts thinking about how much this is going to cost them. This is not where you want their mind to be. Instead, you want to shift them into results-based thinking, where they’re focused on the outcomes they want to achieve, not just the price they have to pay.

In contrast, the new model of selling, NEPQ, is designed to avoid these pitfalls. It’s based on understanding the emotional drivers behind a prospect’s decisions and asking the right questions to tap into those emotions.

Flipping the Sales Model: From Numbers Game to Behavioral Science

The traditional sales model is broken. It’s a numbers game where salespeople spend 50% of their time presenting features and benefits, 30% closing and handling objections, and only 10% asking questions, with another 10% on fake rapport. This approach leads to burnout because humans aren’t built to handle constant rejection. The model creates sales resistance and objections, and prospects don’t believe claims like "we have the best product" because they’ve heard it all before.

Jeremy Miner, with a background in Behavioral Science, questioned this model. He studied social dynamics and rank framing, which is how people rank themselves in society. In modern times, status is often determined by wealth and social media following, but in other societies, it could be tribal tattoos or titles like "duke" or "knight." Salespeople, however, are generally viewed as having lower status, even if they make more money than professionals like doctors. This low status makes it harder to sell because prospects don’t see salespeople as trusted authorities.

Miner wanted to flip this model by raising the salesperson’s status in the prospect’s mind. This is called "situational status" or "rank status." The goal is to be seen as a trusted authority, which reduces resistance and makes the prospect more open to buying. The sale isn’t made with a closing question like "Do you want the red one or the blue one?" By the time the prospect answers that question, they’ve already decided to buy. The decision happens during the engagement part of the conversation, where the salesperson builds a gap between where the prospect is and where they want to be.

The two biggest emotional drivers that cause people to want to change are pain and the fear of future pain. If the salesperson can’t help the prospect relive their pain or fear future pain, the prospect won’t feel the need to change, leading to objections and no sale. The first step in the new model is to spend 85% of the conversation building trust and getting the prospect to lower their guard. This is done through "NEQ connection questions." When the prospect’s guard is up, they give vague, surface-level answers, which indicates resistance.

Once the guard is down, the next step is to get the prospect into results-based thinking rather than price-based thinking. This shift helps the prospect see the value of the solution rather than just the cost. The salesperson’s job is also to help the prospect find problems they didn’t know they had. This is called "problem finding," and it helps build the gap between where the prospect is and where they want to be. The key is to do this through questioning and tone, not by telling the prospect directly.

The new model also focuses on preventing objections before they happen. By asking the right questions during the conversation, the salesperson can address potential objections before they even come up in the prospect’s mind. Finally, the salesperson "future paces" the prospect, helping them visualize what their future will look like once they have the solution. This helps solidify the decision to buy.

Trust, Results, and Emotional Engagement in Sales

People don’t buy from you just because they like you. They buy because they trust you can get them the best result. You might like your friends, but you wouldn’t necessarily do business with them if you don’t trust their business skills. The same goes for family—if a stranger can get you a better result than Grandma, you’ll buy from the stranger. Liking someone is secondary to trusting them to deliver.

When it comes to presenting your solution, it should only take up about 10% of the conversation. By that point, you already know what they need, so you can position your solution accordingly. Closing the sale is even smaller—just 2-5% of the process. It’s not a big deal; it’s simply about getting them to commit to the next step.

The real work happens in the engagement stage, which makes up 85% of the sales process. This is where you build trust and establish the gap between where the prospect is now and where they want to be. To do this, you use consequence questions. These questions shift the focus away from you and onto the prospect, making them think about the consequences of not changing their current situation. This is crucial because if the focus stays on you, they’ll just see you as a salesperson trying to sell something.

You also need to move the prospect from price-based thinking to results-based thinking. If they’re focused on price, they’ll keep shopping around for cheaper deals. But if they’re focused on results, they’ll pay more for a solution they trust will work. When you get them into results-based thinking, they won’t be asking for a cheaper price or comparing you to competitors. Even if your product is 10-15% more expensive, they’ll still buy from you because they trust you can deliver the best result.

Connection questions are another tool to disarm the prospect and get them to let their guard down. These questions quickly shift the focus onto the prospect, whether it’s an inbound lead, an outbound lead, or even a cold call. The goal is to get them thinking about results, not price. If they feel you can get them the best result, they’ll pay more, even if your prices are higher than the competition.

Tonality plays a big role in this process. The way you use your tone can influence how open and engaged the prospect becomes. It’s not just about what you say, but how you say it. When you use the right tone, the prospect will feel more comfortable and open up emotionally.

And that’s key because people make decisions based on emotion, not logic. Every decision starts with the emotional side of the brain, and then it’s justified with logic. If you can get the prospect to emotionally engage with the idea of getting the best result, they’ll be more likely to buy from you, even if your solution costs more.

Numbers Game vs. Skills Game: The Path to Sales Mastery

Most salespeople are taught to play the "numbers game." This approach is all about increasing the volume of interactions: more calls, more doors knocked, more prospects spoken to. The idea is simple—get through the "no’s" to find the "yes." It’s a method that relies on thick skin and a high tolerance for rejection. But this method has a ceiling. You can only make so many calls or knock on so many doors in a day. Eventually, you run out of time.

The alternative is the "skills game." Instead of focusing on the number of interactions, the focus shifts to the quality of each conversation. The goal is to ask better questions, ones that help the prospect internalize their pain and problems. It’s about getting them to realize issues they didn’t even know they had. The more problems you help them uncover, the more they start to see you as an expert—someone they can trust.

In the skills game, you also learn to use your tone to lower the prospect’s guard. You avoid surface-level conversations by sounding calm, collected, and detached. This approach allows you to sell to more people with less effort. Instead of closing 1 out of 10 prospects, you could close 6 or 7 out of 10. You work less, make more sales, and help more people solve their problems.

Behavioral Science in Sales: The First 5 to 12 Seconds

The first 5 to 12 seconds of any sales conversation are critical. During this time, your prospect is subconsciously picking up on social cues from you. They can’t help it—it’s human nature. They’re reading your tonality, your body language, and what you’re saying.

If you come across as too excited, needy, or pushy, you trigger their "fight or flight" response. They’ll either shut down or try to get away from the conversation. The key is to come across as neutral, calm, and detached. You want to sound like an expert who doesn’t need the business. This lowers their guard and makes them more curious about what you have to say.

Tonality and Trust: Sounding Like an Expert

Your tonality plays a huge role in whether or not the prospect trusts you. If you sound like an expert—someone who has plenty of business and doesn’t need to push for a sale—the prospect is more likely to engage with you. This creates a sense of authority and trust, which is crucial in any sales conversation.

Pattern Interrupts: Breaking Expectations

One way to stand out in a sales conversation is to use a "pattern interrupt." This is something unexpected that breaks the prospect’s usual thought process and makes them more curious. For example, shuffling papers on the phone can trigger curiosity because it’s not something they expect to hear.

The goal is to avoid sounding like every other salesperson. If you sound like everyone else, the prospect will put you in the same category and dismiss you.

Outbound Leads: Standing Out from the Crowd

When dealing with outbound leads—people who have already shown interest—it’s important to stand out from other salespeople. You don’t want to come across as overly enthusiastic or pushy. Instead, your introduction should be calm and neutral.

For example, you might say, "Hey John, it’s Jeremy Miner with XYZ company. It looks like you recently responded to an ad and asked us to call you back." This approach is more likely to engage the prospect because it doesn’t trigger their "fight or flight" response.

Connection Questions and Results-Based Thinking Across Industries

When starting an outbound call, the key is to use connection questions that get the prospect talking about why they’re interested. For example, you might ask, "Hey, when you saw XYZ, what was it that made you want to look into this further?" This question isn’t just about gathering information; it’s about getting the prospect to tell themselves why they’re looking. This approach shifts their focus from price-based thinking to results-based thinking, which is crucial in sales.

For inbound leads, especially when meeting on Zoom, the process is slightly different. You start with a casual greeting, checking if they can hear and see you. "Hey John, welcome! Can you hear me okay? Can you see me?" This sets a comfortable tone for the conversation. Then, you repeat back the end result of what they’re looking for, which helps guide them into results-based thinking. For example, "It looks like you booked on the calendar about possibly getting help with your blank so that you guys are able to blank." This repetition of their desired outcome helps them focus on the benefits rather than the cost.

Now, let’s look at some industry-specific examples.

• Auto Dealership:
  If someone responds to an ad, you mention the specific car they were looking at. "Hey John, it looks like you responded to an ad about the 2022 red A6 Audi." Then, you ask what aspects of the car made them want to test drive it. This is where verbal pacing comes in—you slow down the conversation to build urgency without sounding fake. Instead of saying, "You better get down here before it’s gone," you might say, "Just in case it’s already gone by the time you get here, what other vehicles might you be interested in?" This creates a sense of urgency that feels more believable.

• SaaS for Associations:
  When selling SaaS, the focus should always be on the end result of what the service does, not the service itself. For example, "It looks like you booked in with us to look at possible outside help with your Awards program and maybe automating that process." The goal here is to sell the result—automating manual processes, saving time, and streamlining operations. You’re not selling software; you’re selling the benefits that come from using the software.

• HVAC:
  In the HVAC industry, you might reference a previous visit from a technician. "It looks like Ryan was out here and you guys talked about possibly upgrading your system to get air circulating upstairs so your kids can sleep better." This personalizes the conversation and shows that you understand their specific needs. Then, you ask a connection question like, "What did Ryan mention that made you want to look into this further?" This keeps the focus on their problem and the solution you’re offering.

• Financial Services:
  When selling financial services, the approach is similar. You start with a casual greeting, "Hey John, welcome! Can you hear me okay? Can you see me?" Then, you mention the specific financial goal they’re looking to achieve. "It looks like you booked on the calendar about looking at some possible help with your retirement planning and 401K options to get a higher rate of return." Again, the focus is on the result—helping them retire on time, protecting their principal, or getting a higher rate of return. You’re not selling financial products; you’re selling the peace of mind and security that comes with achieving their financial goals.

In all these examples, the formula remains consistent: use connection questions to get the prospect talking about their needs, and always focus on the end result of what your product or service does for them.

Connection Questions, Neutral Language, and Understanding the Prospect's Real Situation

In the early stages of a sales conversation, the primary goal is to get the prospect to lower their guard. This is done through connection questions, which are designed to make the prospect feel comfortable and relaxed. The salesperson should avoid coming across as overly excited or eager, as this can trigger resistance. Instead, the conversation should be downplayed in a neutral way. For example, saying something like, "The first part of this call is pretty basic, it's really more for us to understand what you're doing now and the results you're getting from that compared to where you want to be," helps the prospect feel at ease. The key is to avoid making the prospect feel pressured, which would cause them to put up a wall.

Neutral language is crucial in this phase. Using terms like "possible next steps" instead of "I'll show you how to get started" keeps the conversation non-threatening. No one will ever say, "No, we cannot talk about possible next steps," because it's a neutral phrase. On the other hand, if the salesperson says something like, "I'll show you how to get started," it can trigger resistance, especially from more assertive prospects who may feel the need to push back.

Even when speaking on the phone, body language plays a role. The way a salesperson moves affects their tonality. If they remain still, they risk sounding robotic, which can make the conversation feel unnatural. Moving while speaking helps keep the tone more engaging and dynamic.

A key part of the conversation is creating a gap between the prospect's current situation and where they want to be. This is done visually, even if the conversation is happening over the phone. By saying something like, "It's really more for us to understand what you're doing now and the results you're getting from that compared to where you want them to be," the salesperson helps the prospect see the gap between their current results and their desired results. This shift in focus helps move the prospect from thinking about price or cost to thinking about the results they want to achieve.

Once the prospect's guard is down and they are thinking in terms of results, the next step is to ask NPQ situation questions. These questions are designed to help the salesperson understand the prospect's real situation. Without this understanding, it's impossible to build a gap or present a solution effectively. Many salespeople make the mistake of assuming that every prospect's situation is the same, which leads to generic presentations that don't resonate with the prospect. Instead, the salesperson needs to dig deeper to understand the specific details of the prospect's situation.

Interestingly, many prospects don't fully understand their own situation. They may have a vague idea of their problems, but they don't grasp the full extent of their needs. This is where the salesperson's expertise comes into play. By asking the right questions, the salesperson can help the prospect realize their real situation. Steve Jobs once said that most consumers don't really know what they need, and this is often true in sales conversations. The prospect may have an idea of their problems, but they need the salesperson to help them understand the full picture.

Seeding Doubt and Understanding the Prospect's Situation

When engaging with a prospect, it's essential to help them understand the depth of their problems and the consequences of not solving them. Often, they don't fully grasp how bad their situation is. If they don't understand where they are, it's impossible to build a gap to where they want to go. This is a critical step in making sales. As the saying goes, "If we can't help them understand the real situation, how are you going to build a gap to where they want to go?"

To uncover the prospect's current situation, you ask situation questions. These are generic questions that vary depending on the industry. They help you find out what the prospect is doing now, what they are using, and how long they've been using it. For example, you might ask, "What are they using now? How long? What got them involved with it?" These questions are tweaked based on whether you're in B2B or B2C.

For instance, in the health insurance industry, you might ask about their current coverage, what they pay, and how long they've had the plan. The goal here is to subtly seed doubt about their current plan without being overtly negative. You could ask, "What are they making you pay every month for that type of coverage?" or "How long have you had the plan for?" These questions help you gather information while planting seeds of doubt.

Tonality plays a crucial role in this process. By using a skeptical or doubtful tone, you can imply that the prospect might be overpaying or on the wrong plan without directly saying it. As one example, "My tone implies I know something bad about that, I'm just not saying it." This approach plants doubt in the prospect's mind, making them question whether they are on the right plan.

It's important to avoid making the prospect defensive. You don't want to say their current plan is great, as that reinforces their decision to stay with it. But you also don't want to say it's terrible, as that will make them defensive. Instead, use neutral phrases like "fairly decent" to keep them open to doubt. For example, "I don't want to say that's a great policy, and I don't want to say that's a horrible policy." This keeps the conversation open and allows you to continue seeding doubt.

You can also seed doubt through your questions. For example, asking, "What caused you to go with that one over something else?" subtly implies that there might be a better option without directly criticizing their current choice. This keeps the prospect engaged and thinking about alternatives.

After seeding doubt, you move on to verifying information. This could involve asking about their health or employee benefits, depending on the industry. For example, "How many employees do you have on your health benefits plan?" This helps you gather more facts while continuing to plant seeds of doubt.

It's important to note that situation questions are more factual and focus on gathering information about the prospect's current situation. They don't directly address pain, but you can start seeding pain through your tone. As explained, "Situation questions are more factual questions, you're getting the facts about their situation, not as much of the pain yet."

Seeding Doubt and Building Emotional Drivers in Sales Conversations

In sales, one of the most effective techniques is to subtly seed doubt in the prospect's mind about their current situation. This isn't done by being negative or confrontational but through carefully phrased questions that make the prospect start questioning their own decisions. For example, if a company is on a particular plan, you might ask, "What caused you to go with that plan over something else?" This type of question plants a seed of doubt without directly criticizing their choice. The goal is to make the prospect reflect on their decision and start to wonder if they might be on the wrong plan.

This technique can be applied across industries. For instance, if you're selling certifications to become a builder, you might ask a carpenter, "Are you working for yourself or having to work for someone else?" This question subtly introduces the idea that working for someone else might not be ideal, and that getting certified could allow them to start their own business. The key is to make the prospect think about their current situation and how it could be improved, without directly telling them they need to change.

Another example is in the home improvement industry. If you're selling cabinets, you might ask, "What type of cabinets do you have now?" and follow up with, "How long have you had those in there?" These are situation questions designed to gather information, but they also make the prospect reflect on their current cabinets. You might then say, "We typically don't see this type of cabinet in a house as big as yours. What caused you to have those put in?" This question is not meant to make the prospect feel bad about their cabinets but to make them start questioning whether they made the right choice.

Once you've gathered enough information through situation questions, you can move on to problem awareness questions. These questions are designed to make the prospect aware of the problems with their current situation. For example, after discussing the cabinets, you might ask, "What's causing you to feel like you might want to replace them?" This question forces the prospect to defend their desire to change, which is far more persuasive than you telling them why they should change. When the prospect starts justifying their need for new cabinets, they are emotionally investing in the idea of change.

The goal of these questions is to trigger emotional drivers in the prospect's brain. By asking the right questions, you can get the prospect to emotionally commit to the idea of change. For example, when you ask, "What's causing you to feel like you might want to replace them?" you're not just gathering information; you're triggering an emotional response. The prospect starts to feel like they need to change, rather than just logically understanding why they should change.

Throughout this process, it's crucial to show empathy and understanding. You're not trying to make the prospect feel bad about their current situation; you're trying to understand their needs. For example, when asking about the cabinets, you might say, "I asked because we typically don't see this type of cabinet in a house as big as yours. What caused you to have those put in?" This shows that you're genuinely trying to understand their situation, not making fun of their choices. This empathy helps build trust and makes the prospect more likely to open up about their problems.

Ultimately, the goal is to build a gap between the prospect's current state and where they want to be. Problem awareness questions help you do this by highlighting the issues with their current situation and making them realize the need for change. For example, after discussing the cabinets, you might ask, "What's causing you to feel like you might want to replace them?" This question helps the prospect see the difference between their current situation and their desired situation, creating a sense of urgency to change.

Understanding the Prospect's Current and Objective State

In sales, it's essential to understand two key things: where the prospect is now (their current state) and where they want to be (their objective state). The gap between these two is where the salesperson can step in and offer a solution. The future, where their problems are solved, is the objective state. But it's not just about identifying surface-level problems. The real skill lies in uncovering the root causes of these problems. Most salespeople don't even know how to ask the right questions to get the prospect to open up about these deeper issues. It's crucial to ask, "Have you ever found out what's the root cause of those problems?" because this is where the real value lies.

The Personal Impact of Problems

Even when selling to large companies, it's important to understand how the problems are affecting the individual personally. Whether you're talking to a department head at a Fortune 100 company or a consumer, the personal impact of the problem is key. How is this issue affecting them on a personal level? This connection is what drives the sale forward.

Probing Questions to Uncover Needs

Probing questions are a powerful tool in sales. For example, if you're selling health insurance, you might ask, "What else would you change though if you could?" This type of question gets the prospect to think about what they really want and helps them defend their desire for something different. Depending on their answers, you can adjust your approach and ask more targeted questions. For instance, if they mention dissatisfaction with their current coverage, you could ask, "So when you've gone to the doctor and used that policy, did you like how they covered you?" The key is to base your questions on the answers they give, creating a tailored conversation that feels natural and relevant.

Seeding Doubt in the Prospect's Mind

Another effective tactic is to plant seeds of doubt about their current situation. For example, if you're selling a health insurance policy that covers out-of-network doctors, you might ask, "So, when you get ready to go to the doctor, do you pick whoever you want to go to, or are you forced to only use the doctors on the company's list?" Nobody likes to feel forced into anything, and this question subtly introduces the idea that their current plan might be limiting their choices. This is a powerful way to get the prospect to start questioning whether their current solution is really the best option for them.

The Psychology of "100% Perfect"

Humans are wired to dislike the idea of anything being 100% perfect. Think about it: even your favorite car or the person you're dating isn't perfect after a few months. There's always something that could be better. Salespeople can use this psychological quirk to their advantage. For example, if you're selling leads to a marketing agency, you might say, "It sounds like things are 100% perfect for you guys over there. What would you change if you could?" The prospect is likely to respond with something like, "Well, I wouldn't say it's 100% perfect." This opens the door for further discussion about what could be improved, and it helps the prospect realize that there are areas where they could benefit from your solution.

Tailoring Questions to the Industry

The questions you ask should be tailored to the specific industry you're selling to. For example, if you're selling leads to a marketing agency, you might ask, "What's making you feel like the leads you're getting from XYZ vendor aren't enough to really scale your business?" If the prospect has mentioned a goal of scaling to $10 million a month, and they're currently at $7 million, you can plug that information into your question to make it more relevant. Even if they say they're happy with their current results, you can follow up with, "It sounds like things are 100% perfect for you. What would you change if you could?" This approach helps you uncover areas where the prospect might not be completely satisfied, even if they initially say they're happy with their current situation.

The Power of Tone and Solution Awareness in Sales

When engaging with prospects, it’s essential to ask the right questions that allow them to expand on their pain. This is where they start telling you what they don’t like, but more importantly, they tell themselves. For example, if you’re selling SaaS to trucking companies, you might ask, “Do you like the hires you’ve been getting from Indeed?” in a skeptical tone. This tone is crucial because it shows concern, making the prospect trust you more. Your tone is how the prospect interprets every question you ask, and in this case, a concerned tone makes sense because it aligns with the problem they’re facing—bad recruits who quit after a short time, leaving merchandise undelivered and costing the company tens of thousands of dollars a day.

Solution awareness questions are another key tool. These questions serve two purposes. First, they help you find out what the prospect has done in the past to solve their problems, including problems they didn’t even realize they had before your conversation. For instance, if you’re an investor calling distressed property owners, you might ask, “What were you doing to get rid of the property so it didn’t hurt your credit?” If they haven’t done anything, you can follow up with, “What held you back from doing that in the last few months?” This gets them to question their own inaction.

The second purpose of solution awareness questions is to help the prospect envision what the future looks like once their problems are solved. For example, if they’ve listed their property with a realtor but it didn’t sell, you might ask, “What do you feel really held the realtor back from being able to sell it for you?” This helps prevent them from thinking they should just relist with another realtor, which wouldn’t solve their problem.

Understanding why a prospect didn’t go with a competitor is also valuable. If you’re an investor, you might ask, “What prevented you from going with that investor?” This helps you understand what they didn’t like about the competitor’s offer, so you can avoid making the same mistake. For example, if they say the competitor gave them a lowball offer, you now know you’ll need to handle that objection if you plan to offer a similar price.

When it comes to pricing, it’s important to build an emotional gap first. Once the prospect is emotionally invested, you can ask them how they would handle a lower offer. For instance, if you know the home is worth less than what they want, you might say, “If I go to my partners and they only give you 210 or 200, what do you feel like we should do?” This question works wonders once you’ve built that emotional gap because the prospect is more likely to consider your offer instead of rejecting it outright.

Sales Strategies: Lowering Expectations, Emotional Gaps, and Consequence Questions

In sales, one effective strategy is to subtly lower a prospect's expectations before presenting a final offer. This reduces the "sticker shock" when the lower number is eventually presented. For example, after running some numbers and returning with a lower offer, the prospect is less likely to be surprised because their expectations have already been adjusted. This approach, however, is industry-specific. In some industries, like insurance, the focus shifts to understanding the prospect's past strategies and why they haven't worked. You might ask, "What held you back from looking at other strategies in the past?" or "How has that strategy worked out for you so far?"

Solution awareness questions are crucial across industries. These questions help prospects realize the gap between their current situation and the potential solution. For instance, in the medical device industry, you might ask, "Before today, were you looking for techniques that would reduce your operating time so you can do more cases?" If the answer is no, follow up with, "What held you back from doing that in the past?" If yes, ask, "What were you actually looking at, and what held you back from going with that system?"

Building an emotional gap is essential before diving into deeper questions. This involves showing empathy and repeating back what the prospect says to make them feel understood. For example, if you're talking to a recruiter, you might say, "How would it be different though, you being able to spend that time with your family, not having to work that extra four hours a day?" This approach helps the prospect emotionally open up, which is crucial because people make decisions emotionally, not logically. As the conversation progresses, you can ask more personal impact questions like, "What would it do for you personally?" This is where the prospect starts to visualize their future and the emotional benefits of solving their problem.

When dealing with weight loss, for example, if a prospect says they want to lose 105 pounds, you might ask, "What would you be able to do that you feel you can't do right now?" The prospect might respond with logical answers like, "I'd be able to play basketball with my son" or "I'd be able to go jogging." But to open them up emotionally, you need to dig deeper: "How would your life be different, maybe, than it is now?" This is where the real emotion comes out, and the prospect starts to see how their life could change.

Once the emotional gap is built, you can introduce consequence questions. These questions make the prospect defend why they need to make a change and question their current way of thinking. For example, you might ask, "What if you don't do anything about this problem and it actually gets worse?" But it's important to be specific. Instead of saying "problem," you would say, "What if you don't do anything about this low-quality lead flow you're getting from vendor X, and your sales keep going down every month?" Specificity in these questions leads to specific answers, which is what you want to drive the conversation forward.

Challenging and Concerned Tones: The Key to Emotional Engagement

In sales, the way you ask questions is just as important as the questions themselves. Start with a challenging tone to trigger the prospect's emotions and get them to defend themselves. For example, you might ask, "What if you don't do anything about this and the situation gets worse?" This approach forces the prospect to confront the potential negative outcomes of inaction. Once you've triggered their emotional response, you then shift to a concern tone. Lower your voice and show empathy, as if you're genuinely worried about the consequences. For instance, "Now you can't even get the implants. See, I'm concerned for you." This combination of challenging and concern tones creates a powerful emotional connection.

The key is to tailor your questions to the specific industry or problem the prospect is facing. Avoid generic terms like "situation" and instead plug in the specific issue. For example, if you're selling dental implants, you might say, "What happens if you don't do anything about this and you keep losing the bone density in your jaw?" If you're in the employee benefits space, you could ask, "What happens if you guys just keep the same plan and your top people keep going over to XYZ competitor?" The more specific you are, the more emotionally engaged the prospect will become.

If the prospect gives a vague or surface-level answer, you can re-loop and reframe the question to get them to think deeper. For example, if they say, "I just hope that won't happen," you could respond with, "Do you want to have to keep living with that pain in your mouth if you didn’t have to?" This technique helps the prospect reconsider their initial response and think more critically about the consequences of inaction.

When asking long questions, it's important to use verbal pacing. This means pausing at key moments to give the prospect time to internalize the question. For example, if you're selling solar panels, you might ask, "What happens if you don’t do anything about this and Edison keeps raising your rates every year like they always have, but now you’re 75 years old, still having to pay the bill every month?" By pacing the question, you give the prospect time to think deeper and engage emotionally.

Ultimately, the goal is to make the prospect feel the emotional weight of the consequences of not solving their problem. Whether it's losing top employees to a competitor, dealing with a car that keeps breaking down, or facing skyrocketing energy bills in retirement, the focus should always be on the consequences of inaction. This is what drives the emotional engagement and moves the prospect closer to making a decision.

Transitioning and Commitment in Sales

Imagine you're a marriage therapist trying to help a client. You might ask, "What happens to your marriage if you don’t do anything about this?" This soft, concerned tone encourages the client to reflect on the consequences of inaction, helping them internalize the gravity of their situation. This same principle applies in sales: you need to guide the prospect to think about what happens if they don’t take action.

Now, when it comes to transitioning in sales, after your initial conversation, you must move into the next step of your process. This could be a presentation, a second call, or a demo, depending on your industry. For example, if you’re in a one-call close situation, you’ll transition directly into the presentation and then close the deal. But if you’re in a multi-call close, like selling pools or SaaS, you’ll transition into the next step, such as scheduling a demo or a proposal meeting. The key is to always have something scheduled on the calendar with the prospect. Without that, you have nothing.

In a one-call close, you move straight into the presentation and close. But in a multi-call close, you guide the prospect through smaller steps, known as micro-commitments. These are smaller actions, like scheduling a demo or a meeting, that lead to the larger step of purchasing. It’s crucial to keep the process moving forward, whether it’s a next-step demo, a meeting with legal, or a proposal.

When it comes to commitment, the word "closing" is avoided because it feels demeaning. No one likes to be "closed," but people are okay with being committed to solving their problem. The focus is on commitment, not closing. You’re guiding the prospect to commit to solving their issue and getting what they want.

In multi-call closes, micro-commitments are essential. These are smaller steps that lead to the final purchase. For example, you might commit the prospect to a next-step demo, a meeting, or a proposal. It’s all about keeping the momentum going.

Now, when you’re ready to ask for the final commitment, it’s important to use emotional language. People make buying decisions emotionally, not logically. That’s why you ask, "Do you feel like this could be the answer for you?" The word "feel" keeps the prospect in the emotional part of their brain, which is where decisions are made. If you ask, "Do you think this could be the answer?" you shift them into the logical part of their brain, which leads to more objections and hesitation.

After you ask if they feel the solution is right, you’ll get one of two responses. They’ll either say, "I really do," or they’ll say, "I do, but..." and express a concern. This is exactly what you want because it reveals their real objection, whether it’s about money, doubts about effectiveness, or something else. Once you know their concern, you can address it directly and move closer to the final commitment.

Getting Prospects to Sell Themselves

The key to effective sales is getting the prospect to sell themselves, not you selling them. When they explain why they feel your solution is what they need, they are not just telling you—they are telling themselves. This is crucial because prospects are far more persuasive when they are convincing themselves to buy. In fact, the difference in persuasion ability is about 10 to 1 when they sell themselves versus when you try to convince them.

To guide them in this process, you can use commitment questions. For example, after discussing your solution, you might ask, "What specific aspects of what we've covered do you feel are really going to help you the most?" This question prompts them to reflect on the value of your offer and articulate it themselves. Once they do, you simply guide them to the next step. You might say, "Well, I don't really have anything else to go over with you. It looks like we covered the basis of what you're looking for in XYZ. The next step would be..." and then outline the next action, whether it's making a payment or setting up an invoice, depending on your industry.

The approach can be adapted to different industries. For instance, in B2B consulting, if you're helping a company improve its culture to retain top executives, you might ask, "What specific aspects of what we've covered do you feel are really going to help you retain your top executives the most?" If they express interest, you can push a bit further by asking, "Why not just push it down the road like a lot of companies do who end up losing a lot of their best people?" This question forces them to confront the urgency of the problem, and they will start telling you—and themselves—why they need to act now.

In the final expense insurance industry, after presenting different policy options, you might ask, "Which one of those would you lean more towards?" If they choose the middle option, you could respond with, "Really, option two? I thought you'd say option one. Why option two?" This encourages them to justify their choice, reinforcing their decision. You can then follow up with, "Do you feel like this is what you're looking for to really take the burden off your kids?" This question subtly reminds them of the consequences of not acting, making the decision more personal and urgent.

It's important to note that these types of commitment questions should not be asked too early in the conversation. You need to build trust, credibility, and identify the gap between where they are and where they want to be. Once you've done that, usually toward the end of the sales process, these questions can be very effective in moving the prospect toward a decision.

Closing the Sale and Transitioning with NPQ

When you're wrapping up a conversation with a potential client, it's important to use a closing commitment question that feels natural and non-pushy. For example, after discussing the details of selling a property, you might say, "I don't really have anything else to go over with you. It looks like we've covered the basis of what you're looking for to sell the property quickly. The next step would be to have you fill out the listing agreement, arrange for the photographer to come out and take pictures of your home, and then start listing it to make sure we can get it sold quickly. Would that be appropriate?" This type of question helps guide the client toward the next step without making them feel pressured.

The speaker also provides an overview of NPQ (Neuro-Persuasion Questions), which is a psychological approach to sales. This includes several types of questions that help guide the conversation: connection questions, situation questions, problem awareness, solution awareness, and consequence questions. These questions are designed to uncover the client's needs and guide them toward a solution. However, the speaker emphasizes that this is just a basic introduction to NPQ, and there's much more to learn.

In a sales process, transitioning is key. If you're in a one-call close, you transition into the presentation. If it's a multi-call close, you transition to the next step in the process. The goal is to keep the conversation moving forward and guide the client toward a decision.

Finally, commitment questions are essential for getting the client to take the next step and make a purchase. These questions are designed to make the client feel comfortable and ready to commit without feeling pressured. The speaker provides examples of how to use these questions effectively.

As a final piece of advice, the speaker suggests not sharing this knowledge with competitors, as it could give them an advantage. However, sharing it with friends in different industries is encouraged.

Conclusion

Sales success relies on emotional understanding, trust-building, and effective questioning. Focus on quality interactions and problem awareness to drive engagement and results.